I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
two words...techno handjob
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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