Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
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I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
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We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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