you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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