So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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