I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed