Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  where are you

  (303): View more from Colorado

  in your bedroom

  (602): View more from Arizona

  how did you get in

  (303): View more from Colorado

  your wife…

  (602): View more from Arizona

  WTF

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  (602): where are you (303): in your bedroom (602): how did you get in (303): your wife… (602): WTF http://tfl.nu/cmfn
  Replies (6) Good night (986) Bad night (2079)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?

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  (304): what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea? http://tfl.nu/0ytw
  Replies (9) Good night (1147) Bad night (4587) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.

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  (720): If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend. http://tfl.nu/by48
  Replies (24) Good night (659) Bad night (3632) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.

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  (570): i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight. http://tfl.nu/4ka1
  Replies (120) Good night (1087) Bad night (4355) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE

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  (978): i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE http://tfl.nu/7vd6
  Replies (9) Good night (911) Bad night (4490) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here

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  (317): She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here http://tfl.nu/ql7u
  Replies (2) Good night (2146) Bad night (687) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.

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  (702): And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now. http://tfl.nu/so7u
  Replies (7) Good night (735) Bad night (3206) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?

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  (732): He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it? http://tfl.nu/l4jt
  Replies (13) Good night (2311) Bad night (1180) Order T-Shirt
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?

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  (+49): In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life? http://tfl.nu/2p4e
  Replies (2) Good night (1235) Bad night (1350) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.

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  (607): I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no. http://tfl.nu/p7ft
  Replies (2) Good night (1275) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.

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  (347): Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times. http://tfl.nu/buvd
  Replies (5) Good night (393) Bad night (1094) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.

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  (770): Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes. http://tfl.nu/g4xy
  Replies (23) Good night (2744) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.

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  (479): The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now. http://tfl.nu/1qaa
  Replies (4) Good night (1616) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties

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  (916): Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties http://tfl.nu/1wl7
  Replies (3) Good night (1293) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"

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  (406): after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers" http://tfl.nu/5du2
  Replies (2) Good night (934) Bad night (309) Order T-Shirt

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