Texts From Last Night

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  (831): View more from California

  I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.

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  (831): I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco. http://tfl.nu/qnto
  Replies (34) Good night (3420) Bad night (613)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.

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  (908): my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue. http://tfl.nu/njsp
  Replies (20) Good night (4032) Bad night (817)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"

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  (860): I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John" http://tfl.nu/1on0
  Replies (19) Good night (4691) Bad night (1491)
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  (831): View more from California

  It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics

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  (831): It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics http://tfl.nu/i199
  Replies (14) Good night (6489) Bad night (1061)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.

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  (810): I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours. http://tfl.nu/82rg
  Replies (4) Good night (1081) Bad night (2325)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  I feel like you never had a virginity..

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  (806): He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to. (1-806): I feel like you never had a virginity.. http://tfl.nu/77ey
  Replies (10) Good night (3275) Bad night (1337)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.

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  (609): I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds. http://tfl.nu/dlpp
  Replies (5) Good night (1512) Bad night (1024)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??

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  (701): She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that?? http://tfl.nu/2mxl
  Replies (9) Good night (1786) Bad night (865)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.

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  (775): Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American. http://tfl.nu/e4rx
  Replies (13) Good night (3804) Bad night (598)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.

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  (401): also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part. http://tfl.nu/nmg6
  Replies (9) Good night (756) Bad night (400)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night

  (212): View more from New York

  Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate

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  (908): My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night (212): Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate http://tfl.nu/bmji
  Replies (4) Good night (1433) Bad night (539)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in

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  (503): if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store. (1-503): oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in http://tfl.nu/nfm9
  Replies (7) Good night (934) Bad night (417)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.

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  (314): I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious. http://tfl.nu/b9k8
  Replies (2) Good night (636) Bad night (401)
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  (415): View more from California

  You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.

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  (415): You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left. http://tfl.nu/1p43
  Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (171)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".

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  (515): I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well". http://tfl.nu/nj4j
  Replies (4) Good night (442) Bad night (249)

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