guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream