So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
