What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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