Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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