this beer tastes like vomit already
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
