So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize