Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
