and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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