It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
