I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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