If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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