Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
