You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
