I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
