you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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