Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
