i think i have two assholes
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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