It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
