Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
