I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Randomize
