I like my sex mixed with concussions.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
