he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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