I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
