just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
