I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I will be naked everywhere
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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