cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
