Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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