i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
