1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
