for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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