then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
