i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
