Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize