Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
