i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
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my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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