walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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