I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
