we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
