I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize