After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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