omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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