His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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