just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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