I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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