Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
