you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
