i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
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Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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