Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
