it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
