so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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