Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Non-Jews are for practice
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
