my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
