Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
