you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
