Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I look excited, but its just a facade.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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