Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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