I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
