Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
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I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
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I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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