i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
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you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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