dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
