Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
