He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
