i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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